Proper 22: Job
1:1; 2:1-10; Psalm 26; Hebrews
1:1–4; 2:5-12; Mark 10:2-16
A homily by Fr. Gene Tucker, given
at Trinity Church, Mt. Vernon,
Illinois on Sunday, October 7, 2012.
“UPHOLDING THE IDEAL, OR LOOKING FOR LOOPHOLES?”
In today’s gospel reading, Jesus says, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.” (Mark 10:11–12)
The lectionary cycle of readings
from the Bible that we follow isn’t perfect.
No system of reading through Holy Scripture is. But the lectionary does have the benefit of
forcing us to read some of the “difficult sayings” of Jesus, ones like the one
I’ve cited above. Today’s gospel
contains one of Jesus’ “difficult sayings”, those things we’d rather just skip,
tempting us to turn the page of Mark’s gospel to find a more gentle,
less-challenging text.
But today’s gospel is a tough one to
read and to hear. The words leap off the
page of the Bible and hit us squarely in the face. Even after the passage of time, they sting
like wind-driven snow.
In today’s gospel, Jesus has been
approached by His archenemies, the Pharisees, who ask Him if it is lawful for a
man to divorce his wife. Mark notes that
they asked the question in order to test Jesus.
The test involved trying to pin
Jesus down as to His position on the question of marriage and divorce….In
Jesus’ day - as in our own – this was a
hot topic. Two thousand years ago, basic
Jewish teaching from the rabbis fell into three main groups:
- Rabbi Shammai said that a man should divorce his wife only for the most serious of offenses, such as sexual infidelity.
-
Rabbi Hillel said that a man could divorce his wife for quite a few causes, including something as trivial as “spoiling a dish for him.”
-
Rabbi Aqiba was the most liberal…he said a man could divorce his wife “even if he found another woman more beautiful.” (Wow!)
Underlying these answers to the
question of marriage and divorce that Jesus provided are matters of commandment, pastoral allowance, the nature
of marriage and God’s ideal for
marriage.
Let’s
explore these various concerns about marriage.
We can begin with the matter of
commandment. Notice that the Jesus asks
the Pharisees, “What did Moses command you?” concerning marriage and
divorce. Putting the issue squarely in
the realm of the Law, the Torah, Jesus
asks the Pharisees to quote to Him the basis for divorce. They reply, citing the provision of
Deuteronomy 24:1-4 , which allows a man to divorce his wife by giving her a
certificate of divorce. This provision
says that a bill of divorce may be given to the wife if the husband found something
“objectionable in her”. (The various
answers provided by the rabbis, cited above, had to do with the definition of
the term “something objectionable.”) The
Pharisees demonstrate that, for them, the Law is paramount in determining
proper behavior. Their answer also shows
that their understanding of marriage is that it is a legal arrangement between
two persons.
We might pause here for a moment and
consider marriage practices within Judaism at the time of Jesus’ earthly
ministry….A marriage was an arranged affair, usually between a woman’s father
and the future husband (and his father). (Remember that this was a “man’s world”, a
culture in which men ran everything, a culture in which a wife was regarded as
a husband’s property, a world in which a man, normally – according to Jewish
law – was the only one who could initiate a divorce.) Our contemporary notions about a man and a
woman’s relationship being built on love and mutual respect, and about a
marriage being brought into reality as a result of the free will of the man and
the woman to enter into the marriage did not apply in that culture and in that
time. Marriage was seen as a legal
contract, not as a loving relationship.
Now, let’s return to the matter of
commandment. Once the Pharisees have
(correctly) provided the answer from the Law, Jesus responds by refocusing
their attention onto God’s original design for the relationship between a man
and a woman…..“From the beginning of creation,” He said, “the two shall become
one flesh.”
Now, the second aspect of our
consideration of the issue of divorce comes into view. Jesus says that Moses’ allowance was given
due to the “hardness of heart” of God’s people.
Quite frankly, Jesus’ answer raises so many questions….His answer seems
to raise the possibility that a pastoral
provision was made, out of consideration for a basic fact of the human
condition: the reality that many human
beings are simply hard-hearted. In the
Bible, hard-heartedness is a condition in which people do not want to hear
God’s voice, or to follow God’s leading.
But Jesus’ answer also puts God’s
original intent above the legal provisions of the Law of Moses. “From the beginning,” He said. This is the third reality of Jesus’ answer
that we should hold in view….It is apparent that the Pharisees are not only
looking to test Jesus, trying to see which of the three views of the rabbis He
would uphold, but they are also seeking legal justification for the view that
Jesus would choose, looking to the Law for the basis for the choice. Instead, Jesus redirects the Pharisees’ test,
holding God’s ideal for marriage as the paramount concern. In essence, we could summarize Jesus’ answer
by paraphrasing it this way: Don’t look
for loopholes through which to walk, but seek to uphold God’s ideal for
marriage.
Much has changed in human culture
over time…..We no longer arrange marriages, but expect them to arise as a
result of a loving relationship that upholds both parties to the marriage as
equal partners in it. And, thankfully,
it is no longer a “man’s world” (for the most part)….That, too, is a positive
development.
But there is no shortage of
“hardness of heart”, is there? Parties
to a marriage seek divorce for the least of reasons, it seems, these days, even
to seek a new partner who’s more attractive than the old one. Rabbi Aqiba’s view is held by many today.
So what do we do about the matter of
marriage and divorce? Unfortunately,
divorce is quite common in our culture and in our time today….about one half of
all marriages end in divorce, even among committed Christians.
We should consider the matter of
marriage, first of all, and then, we should look at the reality of divorce.
Beginning with marriage, the Church
is called to uphold God’s ideal in marriage….Accordingly, The Episcopal Church
requires those who wish to be married in the Church to sign a statement,
affirming their commitment to the forthcoming marriage as being a lifelong,
exclusive relationship of the two persons.
In addition, the Canons of the
Church require premarital counseling, as well as a thirty day notice to the
priest or bishop who will officiate the ceremony. The idea here is to prevent hasty marriages,
and to properly consider the various aspects of marriage in an orderly and
thorough way.
Then, we see marriage as a part of
our common life together as a parish church.
During the ceremony, those attending are asked, “Will all of you
witnessing these promises do all in your power to uphold these two persons in
their marriage?” This question affirms
the reality that the marriage that is created by the coming together of the
husband and wife isn’t their relationship alone, but that their marriage
affects the community, and is affected by the community of faith of which they
are members.
Now, we should turn to the matter of
divorce.
We said a moment ago that there’s no
shortage of “hardness of heart” in our culture today. Unfortunately, though that has always been
true, down through the ages, we seem to have an abundance of an unwillingness to
allow God’s presence, God’s love, and God’s truth to penetrate hearts and minds
in the time in which we live.
As a result, sometimes one partner
to a marriage will simply announce that they are leaving the relationship. (Unfortunately, changes in our legal
practices make such a move a lot easier than it was in an earlier time.) If the one partner leaves, the remaining
partner is often devastated emotionally and financially. Here we return to one of Jesus’ apparent
concerns in upholding God’s ideal for marriage: the devastating effects of
divorce on the powerless partner…In His day, women – who had little or no legal
power – became victims of the ruthless behavior of men. Not only were women in the culture of that
time devastated emotionally, but their financial wellbeing was also devastated.
In other cases,
“hardness of heart” manifests itself in behavior that is dangerous to the other
marriage partner. Domestic violence is an example.
In
such cases, the remaining partner should never be demonized for becoming a
divorced person.
The
Church has struggled with Jesus’ ideal, seeking to provide pastoral
consideration for some of the circumstances that can lead to divorce. St. Paul outlines the possibility for divorce
and remarriage in his first letter to the Corinthians (see chapter seven). Matthew’s gospel account also recognizes the
possibility of divorce for the most grave of causes, specifically, for
“uncleanness” in the marriage partner (usually interpreted as sexual
infidelity) (see Matthew 5:32 and 19:9).
Sometimes,
divorce is the only advisable choice, given the alternative. We can see this clearly in cases where a
spouse is physically or emotionally violent.
The choice then becomes one of choosing to remain in a dangerous
relationship, or to end the relationship entirely for one’s own safety. It is the more advisable of two difficult
choices.
The
Church recognizes this reality, allowing remarriage in the Church for persons
who have been divorced, but only after the Bishop has considered the matter,
and has granted a judgment in the matter.
The idea here is that the Church does not condone what is called “serial
monogamy” (a series of marriages that follow one another), but takes remarriage
as a possibility in some cases, and which seeks to look closely at the after
effects of the first marriage on the second one.
Alas,
there are still some Christians who view divorce as the one unforgivable
sin. To hold such a view brings with it
the possibility that a person who has been the victim of a bad situation that
has resulted in divorce will become the victim all over again. Such a view also discounts Jesus’ clear
teaching about the one unforgivable sin, which is “blasphemy of the Holy
Spirit” (see Matthew 12:31).
Above
all, the Church is called to uphold God’s ideal in marriage as a life-long,
faithful and loving relationship between a man and a women. As we do so, we are also called to uphold
those whose marriages end for good and sufficient reasons.
May
we, through the power of the Holy Spirit, seek to prepare men and women to
enter into a Christian marriage, a marriage in which God’s ideal is ever in
view, and which is supported by the faith community. And may we, through the power of the Holy
Spirit, support and uphold those whose marriages have ended, enabling God’s
healing presence to take effect.
AMEN.
